LOVESICK AVENUE
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
True Confession
Al mio amore
i guess i haven't been entirely honest with my readers and some friends. in person and in my blog post, i have always portrayed the sense of being the MR-know-all especially when it comes to love. love has been a the main issue for me, growing up and all. it has taught me many beautiful yet painful lessons. whatever it may seems, i guess its time to confess.
Dear readers, I'm not sure how to put it, but i guess the fact is; I'm not single. its kinda complicated for me to explain. its like those Malay song where the boyfriend sings about taking in their ex again because they really love their ex. i guess i still love her.even when i was with someone else. during the time when she was with her boyfriend and coincidentally i was chatting with her, i guess i was kind of sour to her. frankly, i was jealous. i know i haven't been treating her right, but i was a jerk, expecting her to be faithful and loyal. but then she did managed to slip out that she still has feelings for me. in actual fact, we have patched up again since like October '08.the problem with my ex is that though we are patching up, her presence was not felt. its was rarely that we were able to communicate via sms and some weekends on MSN. as all of you had known, i had always wanted more, wanted something concrete. I'm an insecure person. as long as there is some concrete relationship, I'm content.
at the same time, during those patching up period i would call it, i am also in love with someone else. we chatted, sms, fought and argued. but then, its her that i always go to at the end of the day. it because she's there. it's her that was always there. i know I'm bad. but then, she has made it a point, she can never be with me. she kept going back to her boyfriend when she broke up. till i felt at some point of time, I'm nothing to her. look it at my point of view, her family and I'm talking about your mak chu, mak long, pak ngah and all AKA her extended family, knows about her relationship with him. so if i were to come into the picture, what does that make me? someone who destroys relationship? that is egoistic. blame me all you want readers, i know I'm wrong. its entirely my fault.
so readers, its because of the lack of presence and concreteness that i am lovesick. its not like I'm out of love or something. i do have my ex who still loves me dearly. in fact, we met on Saturday before i headed to KL. we did some shopping, walking around and a lot of catching up. gosh, I'm touched when she said she wanna spent time with me before i go. sometimes, i wonder, what i did wrong to her the 1st time round. i guess i wanna dedicate my next post to how i met her.
Need some serious resting,
Lovesick Avenue
i guess i haven't been entirely honest with my readers and some friends. in person and in my blog post, i have always portrayed the sense of being the MR-know-all especially when it comes to love. love has been a the main issue for me, growing up and all. it has taught me many beautiful yet painful lessons. whatever it may seems, i guess its time to confess.
Dear readers, I'm not sure how to put it, but i guess the fact is; I'm not single. its kinda complicated for me to explain. its like those Malay song where the boyfriend sings about taking in their ex again because they really love their ex. i guess i still love her.even when i was with someone else. during the time when she was with her boyfriend and coincidentally i was chatting with her, i guess i was kind of sour to her. frankly, i was jealous. i know i haven't been treating her right, but i was a jerk, expecting her to be faithful and loyal. but then she did managed to slip out that she still has feelings for me. in actual fact, we have patched up again since like October '08.the problem with my ex is that though we are patching up, her presence was not felt. its was rarely that we were able to communicate via sms and some weekends on MSN. as all of you had known, i had always wanted more, wanted something concrete. I'm an insecure person. as long as there is some concrete relationship, I'm content.
at the same time, during those patching up period i would call it, i am also in love with someone else. we chatted, sms, fought and argued. but then, its her that i always go to at the end of the day. it because she's there. it's her that was always there. i know I'm bad. but then, she has made it a point, she can never be with me. she kept going back to her boyfriend when she broke up. till i felt at some point of time, I'm nothing to her. look it at my point of view, her family and I'm talking about your mak chu, mak long, pak ngah and all AKA her extended family, knows about her relationship with him. so if i were to come into the picture, what does that make me? someone who destroys relationship? that is egoistic. blame me all you want readers, i know I'm wrong. its entirely my fault.
so readers, its because of the lack of presence and concreteness that i am lovesick. its not like I'm out of love or something. i do have my ex who still loves me dearly. in fact, we met on Saturday before i headed to KL. we did some shopping, walking around and a lot of catching up. gosh, I'm touched when she said she wanna spent time with me before i go. sometimes, i wonder, what i did wrong to her the 1st time round. i guess i wanna dedicate my next post to how i met her.
Need some serious resting,
Lovesick Avenue
posted by Rid at 9:23 PM
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