LOVESICK AVENUE
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Al mio amore
(A moment to remember; Nae meorisokui jiwoogae )
I am sorry. I am so sorry. I never meant to break you heart. God, what have I done? Are you crying now? I don’t want to see you crying or in pain. I wanted to make you happy. But all I have done is to put you in agony. Oh my love! Don’t get me wrong. I only love you and only you. I only think of you. I only remember you. How badly do I wish to show you my heart! Is there anyway I can do that while my memory remains? Oh, my heart races. I love you, only. I don’t want to forget that. And I must not. Can you see that? Can you feel my heart? Im afraid my just-returned memory will leave me again before I tell you everything I have to say. I love you. And im sorry. I met you because I was forgetful. Now, Im leaving you because im forgetful. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. How thankful I am to God for having sent you as gift to me. I don’t have to remember you. You are a part of me. I smile, laugh and smell like you do. I might forget you, but nothing can drive you out of my body. Although you never told me you loved me I know deep in my heart that you love me. Forgive me for leaving you. Please for the last time I have a favour to ask. Please see my father.
(A moment to remember; Nae meorisokui jiwoogae )
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Al mio amore,
not knowing what love is will be a hinderance to us. loving is a sign of acceptence and understanding. for, if u do not love Muhammad(PBUH),you will not understand and even be willing to accept his religion.but it occured to me a while back, that there was a lover of Muhammad who is a hindu. he was not accepted by both religion. strange as it may sound, but love is love. nothing can stop it nor change it even if one is offered so much. Nothing can replace love.
acceptance they say is one of the few things in life that will value to so much an extent.have we asked ourself, are we accepted? be it in our family, friends, or even the society. worst, have we accepted ourself for who we are? are you happy with you have achieved and what God had given you?
not knowing what love is will be a hinderance to us. loving is a sign of acceptence and understanding. for, if u do not love Muhammad(PBUH),you will not understand and even be willing to accept his religion.but it occured to me a while back, that there was a lover of Muhammad who is a hindu. he was not accepted by both religion. strange as it may sound, but love is love. nothing can stop it nor change it even if one is offered so much. Nothing can replace love.
acceptance they say is one of the few things in life that will value to so much an extent.have we asked ourself, are we accepted? be it in our family, friends, or even the society. worst, have we accepted ourself for who we are? are you happy with you have achieved and what God had given you?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Speaking of which
Al mio amore,
all that is being asked from love is honesty and trust. i find it rather amusing that one should be willing to make empty promises.promises should be kept and fulfilled. but then, its life. with the seduction of ego and the worldly beauties one would be ready to break all promises or even make empty promises. its rather depressing to know that the usual cases of break ups are about the two. Honesty and trust.
nowadays, the value of speech is lost. with the freedom of speech, everyone can speak. the kindergarten kid can speak, the gardener can speak, even the mute can speak through sign language. but do we ask ourselves, when we speak, who listens? the things that we speak on, does it hold anything for others? Empty! what ever that we speak on is just plain words. none of it holds any knowledge. not anymore. unlike the past, there is wisdom in what ever is being spoken about. there is knowledge in every speech. people value the words of the wise. people listen when the elder speaks. look around, you'll see that everyone is talking but no one is listening.
the same goes for love.now the word love means nothing new or sacred. nothing revered or respected. everyone wants to be in love. even the young ones are being in love. but when asked about love, one cant speak on the true value or terms of love. how can this be? when we are created, its through love. when Adam was created, its because of love although the love was not for him or his. everything we do encompasses love. have we lost the essence of love? what happen to the love that used to be so revered and sacred?
all that is being asked from love is honesty and trust. i find it rather amusing that one should be willing to make empty promises.promises should be kept and fulfilled. but then, its life. with the seduction of ego and the worldly beauties one would be ready to break all promises or even make empty promises. its rather depressing to know that the usual cases of break ups are about the two. Honesty and trust.
nowadays, the value of speech is lost. with the freedom of speech, everyone can speak. the kindergarten kid can speak, the gardener can speak, even the mute can speak through sign language. but do we ask ourselves, when we speak, who listens? the things that we speak on, does it hold anything for others? Empty! what ever that we speak on is just plain words. none of it holds any knowledge. not anymore. unlike the past, there is wisdom in what ever is being spoken about. there is knowledge in every speech. people value the words of the wise. people listen when the elder speaks. look around, you'll see that everyone is talking but no one is listening.
the same goes for love.now the word love means nothing new or sacred. nothing revered or respected. everyone wants to be in love. even the young ones are being in love. but when asked about love, one cant speak on the true value or terms of love. how can this be? when we are created, its through love. when Adam was created, its because of love although the love was not for him or his. everything we do encompasses love. have we lost the essence of love? what happen to the love that used to be so revered and sacred?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Love, School, Darwin
Al mio amore
apologies for the hiatus and lack of updates. i have considered closing down this blog, but like they say, finish what you started. therefore if i had really want to close this blog, there must be a reason to it, which now i could not find any.
Love is one special feeling that is being given to us by our Lord. it seems almost impossible to understand the meaning of love. Ask Romeo what is love and he will tell you its Juliet. Ask Shakespeare and he will instead tell you its English and theater. Ask our Mozart and he will tell you its music. so what is love? how do we define it? what does it mean to us?
i have been to places around Singapore. observing the advances of technology and the growth of industries. But one thing doesn't change, i find that there is lack of the understanding of love. the Malay hooligans take love as something to be expressed through words like poem and songs. although i must say, some of their works are very good. i would not dare to comment on other races because i dont feel fit to do so until my race can prove to me otherwise. However lets take a bold step and have a look at ourselves. how are we treating love? but because of the high level of love, i rather we ask ourselves how are we treating ourselves? Have we been treating ourselves right? look at some of us, piercing here and there, tatoo here and there. look at the hair colour, some shades of brown, red or even green. and thats just the physical factors, have we asked ourselves about our spirituality?
Look at our ego, how it is controling us. look at the time when we wanted to drink, instead of sips we take huge gulp. for food, we only eat whats nice. some even is choosy of what they eat! have we forgotten our brothers and sisters in the third world society? how they live in poverty, how each day they struggle to live, while here in our society we hear suicide cases almost everyday. arent we ashame? we should all take a leaf out of the books of our less fortunate brothers and sisters in the third world society. learn from them, for they can teach you what books and school cant.
I had always believed that school was a good place to learn. but i was proven wrong. schools these days teach us nothing. instead they only teach us to read, write and memorise. if i had asked you to summarise for me a news paper article, i think most of you cant do it. but if i had asked you to name me a fruit, or a place, all of you can. and if i had asked you about how we are created and where we come from almost all of you will give me a Darwin-ised answer, which is the theory of evolution. funny, how muslim oriented school claims to teach everything muslim oriented teaching, but when asked about spirituality, it fails to give an answer. doesnt islam compromises of spirituality too? why such neglegence?
not forgetting other schools of thought and religion. let me end with quote a sheykh from one of his speech
apologies for the hiatus and lack of updates. i have considered closing down this blog, but like they say, finish what you started. therefore if i had really want to close this blog, there must be a reason to it, which now i could not find any.
Love is one special feeling that is being given to us by our Lord. it seems almost impossible to understand the meaning of love. Ask Romeo what is love and he will tell you its Juliet. Ask Shakespeare and he will instead tell you its English and theater. Ask our Mozart and he will tell you its music. so what is love? how do we define it? what does it mean to us?
i have been to places around Singapore. observing the advances of technology and the growth of industries. But one thing doesn't change, i find that there is lack of the understanding of love. the Malay hooligans take love as something to be expressed through words like poem and songs. although i must say, some of their works are very good. i would not dare to comment on other races because i dont feel fit to do so until my race can prove to me otherwise. However lets take a bold step and have a look at ourselves. how are we treating love? but because of the high level of love, i rather we ask ourselves how are we treating ourselves? Have we been treating ourselves right? look at some of us, piercing here and there, tatoo here and there. look at the hair colour, some shades of brown, red or even green. and thats just the physical factors, have we asked ourselves about our spirituality?
Look at our ego, how it is controling us. look at the time when we wanted to drink, instead of sips we take huge gulp. for food, we only eat whats nice. some even is choosy of what they eat! have we forgotten our brothers and sisters in the third world society? how they live in poverty, how each day they struggle to live, while here in our society we hear suicide cases almost everyday. arent we ashame? we should all take a leaf out of the books of our less fortunate brothers and sisters in the third world society. learn from them, for they can teach you what books and school cant.
I had always believed that school was a good place to learn. but i was proven wrong. schools these days teach us nothing. instead they only teach us to read, write and memorise. if i had asked you to summarise for me a news paper article, i think most of you cant do it. but if i had asked you to name me a fruit, or a place, all of you can. and if i had asked you about how we are created and where we come from almost all of you will give me a Darwin-ised answer, which is the theory of evolution. funny, how muslim oriented school claims to teach everything muslim oriented teaching, but when asked about spirituality, it fails to give an answer. doesnt islam compromises of spirituality too? why such neglegence?
not forgetting other schools of thought and religion. let me end with quote a sheykh from one of his speech
The schools are only teaching people lying and cheating these days. They know that the theory of evolution, Darwinism is finished. It is bankrupt. But they are still teaching. Everything is on that. The foundations of schools are on that theory. All those children that are studying and coming out of the schools, now their foundation is evolution which is completely against creation. So they are going to become ignorant. So ignorant that they are not going to know that they are ignorant. Taking one man's word, ordinary man. Who is this man? Who is this Darwin? Why are you accepting him? (I am saying to the Chrisitan world) You are accepting Darwin and putting his books in the schools and universities. You say you are accepting Jesus but you are not using his book in the schools. What kind of nonsense is this? (Shaykh smiling). You are saying, "Jesus is the Lord. We are the creatures, he is the creator." But you are not teaching in the schools to these people about that and you are teaching about Darwinism, about Sheytan. The same thing is with the Muslims and the same thing is with the Jews. In the Muslims countries they say, "We are Muslims. We are accepting Allah and His Prophet." But no school is teaching anything about Holy Prophet (alayhi salatu wa salam). With the Jews it is the same thing. They are not teaching about Moses or the Tewrat. So everywhere in the world they are concentrating to teach people Darwinism. Evolution.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
A letter to no one
Dearest ________________,
A secret admirer. That's what they say, isn't it? I have been secretive, until now, and I suppose I do admire you, but that's only when your back is turned. 30 minutes a day�that's how long I get to admire you, and then it's back to the 23 � hours of wretched, seething love.
Do I love you when you are next to me? A little. But not as much as when we are separated�by traffic and daily planners and radio waves and the denizens of our lives�no, not as much as I love you when your only incarnation is in my mind, your smile demands mental replay and your body's attitude and altitude insist on being remeasured and firmly memorized. The trap that catches my dreams...but there is no permanence to dreams. They leave no evidence, not like you really would. A strand of long, dark hair on the pillowcase, a fingerprint on the countertop, even a blown kiss would have more mass than a dream.
But what else can one do when they love someone so much? No, there it is again. That word, love, used incorrectly. Not appropriate for my situation. It takes two to love. Two people playing simultaneous roles as Lover & Beloved. Two people sharing space and air and radiating heat and intentions. Not us, however. Instead of two, we have one and one. One of us is alone and hateful to the world for being so crowded, this city for being so wide and having so many places to hide (I don't even know where you live! Where are you right now? A coffee shop wrapped in a scarf and leaning as I've seen you do, intently over a paperback? A friend's apartment calling to her from the hallway? In your own home, privately clenching and releasing your own white toes?) And the other is accompanied everywhere by a vanilla scent, long lashes, and refracted light.
You have your tricks, I'm sure, of hiding this or that blemish or accentuating your eyes, but I know that if it was all washed away or stripped what would remain would be exceptionally fine, bright, and smooth. Have I hit upon it? The one dominant characteristic of yours that causes you to rule my thoughts? I believe it is: I haven't touched you, but I know you are smooth like a stone fold of a Michelangelo statue, smooth like the lightly packed sand of an Asiatic shore, smooth like the cheek of god. Maybe that's what really tempted me: the thought of touching something so finely crafted, so treacherously inviting, something so close to perfect that it makes me shudder to even be around you for fear that through some mishap I'll mar or brand you. But I won't. I have faith in that notion. I could never wear down the elemental beauty of your skin even with my raw lips and sawdust hands, not even with the thousand caresses I hope to make possible.
Yes, I want to make it happen. No longer content to be secret or only admiring, I am baring all. But it's not something I can will into existence or bribe a god for�I have to just hope that it's possible that you would want the same thing I want: an inescapable love. I want to find you in the morning's rays, I want to watch your leg emerge from behind the shower curtain, I want you to sit on my knee at parties so that everyone knows. I don't want to waste time with flirting; I want to leap headfirst into a shared mesmerization, an unflinching fascination between us two. I want to greedily hoard all of your secrets and wishes, I want to peel the skin off your back after you've been sunburned, I want to touch your body in the places that push against the seams and stretches fabric, I want to unclasp and untie and loosen everything that you are until it can breathe and exist freely in my presence. I want to push my face into your neck and sleep skin to skin.
I want an unstoppable love with you. I want a love that can resist black holes and nuclear war. I want a love that spans decades and becomes an iconic phenomenon that is printed on T-shirts and coffee mugs. I want a love so powerful that glass breaks around us as we walk, a romance so intense that others can't even look directly at us without going blind. I want you and I to feel interminably enraptured, to be so fierce that no one will ever love again, that love will be outlawed because of its dangerous nature, that writers will put down their pens and brushes will hit the floor as artists open their hands�because neither the poets nor the painters, neither the composers nor the moviemakers are compelled or able to convey what we are. I want loving you to sustain me instead of bread and water, and I want loving you to kill me, to collapse my heart when I am older than old and the world has been laid to waste by the pulsing shockwaves of our kisses.
I want you, _____________.
So write, so call, so contact me in any way. Don't delay unless delaying will make you even more passionate about our first encounter. I have not even folded this paper, and I am already impatient for your response, for your touches and clenches and exhalations...
Respond to me, and I will respond to you. Until that charged moment, I remain,
Yours,
____________
A secret admirer. That's what they say, isn't it? I have been secretive, until now, and I suppose I do admire you, but that's only when your back is turned. 30 minutes a day�that's how long I get to admire you, and then it's back to the 23 � hours of wretched, seething love.
Do I love you when you are next to me? A little. But not as much as when we are separated�by traffic and daily planners and radio waves and the denizens of our lives�no, not as much as I love you when your only incarnation is in my mind, your smile demands mental replay and your body's attitude and altitude insist on being remeasured and firmly memorized. The trap that catches my dreams...but there is no permanence to dreams. They leave no evidence, not like you really would. A strand of long, dark hair on the pillowcase, a fingerprint on the countertop, even a blown kiss would have more mass than a dream.
But what else can one do when they love someone so much? No, there it is again. That word, love, used incorrectly. Not appropriate for my situation. It takes two to love. Two people playing simultaneous roles as Lover & Beloved. Two people sharing space and air and radiating heat and intentions. Not us, however. Instead of two, we have one and one. One of us is alone and hateful to the world for being so crowded, this city for being so wide and having so many places to hide (I don't even know where you live! Where are you right now? A coffee shop wrapped in a scarf and leaning as I've seen you do, intently over a paperback? A friend's apartment calling to her from the hallway? In your own home, privately clenching and releasing your own white toes?) And the other is accompanied everywhere by a vanilla scent, long lashes, and refracted light.
You have your tricks, I'm sure, of hiding this or that blemish or accentuating your eyes, but I know that if it was all washed away or stripped what would remain would be exceptionally fine, bright, and smooth. Have I hit upon it? The one dominant characteristic of yours that causes you to rule my thoughts? I believe it is: I haven't touched you, but I know you are smooth like a stone fold of a Michelangelo statue, smooth like the lightly packed sand of an Asiatic shore, smooth like the cheek of god. Maybe that's what really tempted me: the thought of touching something so finely crafted, so treacherously inviting, something so close to perfect that it makes me shudder to even be around you for fear that through some mishap I'll mar or brand you. But I won't. I have faith in that notion. I could never wear down the elemental beauty of your skin even with my raw lips and sawdust hands, not even with the thousand caresses I hope to make possible.
Yes, I want to make it happen. No longer content to be secret or only admiring, I am baring all. But it's not something I can will into existence or bribe a god for�I have to just hope that it's possible that you would want the same thing I want: an inescapable love. I want to find you in the morning's rays, I want to watch your leg emerge from behind the shower curtain, I want you to sit on my knee at parties so that everyone knows. I don't want to waste time with flirting; I want to leap headfirst into a shared mesmerization, an unflinching fascination between us two. I want to greedily hoard all of your secrets and wishes, I want to peel the skin off your back after you've been sunburned, I want to touch your body in the places that push against the seams and stretches fabric, I want to unclasp and untie and loosen everything that you are until it can breathe and exist freely in my presence. I want to push my face into your neck and sleep skin to skin.
I want an unstoppable love with you. I want a love that can resist black holes and nuclear war. I want a love that spans decades and becomes an iconic phenomenon that is printed on T-shirts and coffee mugs. I want a love so powerful that glass breaks around us as we walk, a romance so intense that others can't even look directly at us without going blind. I want you and I to feel interminably enraptured, to be so fierce that no one will ever love again, that love will be outlawed because of its dangerous nature, that writers will put down their pens and brushes will hit the floor as artists open their hands�because neither the poets nor the painters, neither the composers nor the moviemakers are compelled or able to convey what we are. I want loving you to sustain me instead of bread and water, and I want loving you to kill me, to collapse my heart when I am older than old and the world has been laid to waste by the pulsing shockwaves of our kisses.
I want you, _____________.
So write, so call, so contact me in any way. Don't delay unless delaying will make you even more passionate about our first encounter. I have not even folded this paper, and I am already impatient for your response, for your touches and clenches and exhalations...
Respond to me, and I will respond to you. Until that charged moment, I remain,
Yours,
____________
Friday, February 20, 2009
Its not that hard to love
Al mio amore,
Believe is the key to attaining the best of both world. what i mean by both world is for oneself and the target reach one is striving towards. it is not hard to see what i mean. When you belive in yourself, you attain what we call a confident boost, or a higher morale. In relationships and such, this is really important. surely you do not want to live all your life with someone who is not confident and is afraid to reach new hights. but then again, we need to have a balance. in any relationship if balcance is not achieved, most of the time it will lead to the end of that relationship.
the other world i want to bring to attention is the receiving party. when you believe, you must belive in something. that something can be seen as the other world. this is what in english literature it would mean. but i wont be dealing with english, grammar or whatnots because i have no authority to speak about them. but what im trying to say is, one needs to belive in whatever he wants to acheive. for they say, confidence or believing in what you do, half the battle has already been won.
but besides that, back to the theme of this blog. Lovesick. i have been thinking while on my hiatus what it means to be loved.or rather, it should be, "what is love?"
Love is eternal, and the transitory nature of all things pertaining to this world is a sign of truth, a sign that shows us by means of contrast. Real spiritual love, love of God and love of mankind for the sake of God is the only truth, the only thing in this world that is permanently and constantly sweet. Physical separation from someone you love, in accordance with the rule that pertains to the physical, may create a longing that will cause love to increase, may augment the bliss of reunion. But on the spiritual level that love is constant, is never interrupted by distance nor by time. Your beloved may be on the moon and you may be in bliss at the thought of reunion, but if love is unrequited, that is not sweet separation but a bitter pill. The extinction of love is pitch darkness. You may regard the sunset as beautiful, but how would you feel if it were setting forever?
Love is the water of life. God created Adam from clay and water. If it were not for water the clay would hold no shape. Divine Love is what binds our souls together. That is why people become so miserable when they feel unloved. It is a feeling that something essential is missing from one's life, that life itself is incomplete, and in the face of this ache people set out in search of love with the desperation of a man dying of thirst.
The Lord created us and loves us; that is why everyone loves love. No one complains of love or wants it to be taken from him, but all want to be loved more. Where are you seeking love? Are you taking pure water from the gushing source, or muddy, slimy water from the ditch? You love people, but they will die. Perhaps your love will be unrequited, or because of a small error or indiscretion on your part that person's heart will harden to you and love will be no more. You say that you love him or her, but do you love him or her unconditionally? Is your love permanent-love for the real immaculate divine essence living in that person, or temporary, as a result of some desirable attributes: beauty, youth, wealth, station or wit? When that beautiful, young, wealthy, clever, amiable socialite becomes an ugly, old, penniless, senile, grumpy outcast will you still love her? Is your love is of the spirit or of the world?
Believe is the key to attaining the best of both world. what i mean by both world is for oneself and the target reach one is striving towards. it is not hard to see what i mean. When you belive in yourself, you attain what we call a confident boost, or a higher morale. In relationships and such, this is really important. surely you do not want to live all your life with someone who is not confident and is afraid to reach new hights. but then again, we need to have a balance. in any relationship if balcance is not achieved, most of the time it will lead to the end of that relationship.
the other world i want to bring to attention is the receiving party. when you believe, you must belive in something. that something can be seen as the other world. this is what in english literature it would mean. but i wont be dealing with english, grammar or whatnots because i have no authority to speak about them. but what im trying to say is, one needs to belive in whatever he wants to acheive. for they say, confidence or believing in what you do, half the battle has already been won.
but besides that, back to the theme of this blog. Lovesick. i have been thinking while on my hiatus what it means to be loved.or rather, it should be, "what is love?"
Love is eternal, and the transitory nature of all things pertaining to this world is a sign of truth, a sign that shows us by means of contrast. Real spiritual love, love of God and love of mankind for the sake of God is the only truth, the only thing in this world that is permanently and constantly sweet. Physical separation from someone you love, in accordance with the rule that pertains to the physical, may create a longing that will cause love to increase, may augment the bliss of reunion. But on the spiritual level that love is constant, is never interrupted by distance nor by time. Your beloved may be on the moon and you may be in bliss at the thought of reunion, but if love is unrequited, that is not sweet separation but a bitter pill. The extinction of love is pitch darkness. You may regard the sunset as beautiful, but how would you feel if it were setting forever?
Love is the water of life. God created Adam from clay and water. If it were not for water the clay would hold no shape. Divine Love is what binds our souls together. That is why people become so miserable when they feel unloved. It is a feeling that something essential is missing from one's life, that life itself is incomplete, and in the face of this ache people set out in search of love with the desperation of a man dying of thirst.
The Lord created us and loves us; that is why everyone loves love. No one complains of love or wants it to be taken from him, but all want to be loved more. Where are you seeking love? Are you taking pure water from the gushing source, or muddy, slimy water from the ditch? You love people, but they will die. Perhaps your love will be unrequited, or because of a small error or indiscretion on your part that person's heart will harden to you and love will be no more. You say that you love him or her, but do you love him or her unconditionally? Is your love permanent-love for the real immaculate divine essence living in that person, or temporary, as a result of some desirable attributes: beauty, youth, wealth, station or wit? When that beautiful, young, wealthy, clever, amiable socialite becomes an ugly, old, penniless, senile, grumpy outcast will you still love her? Is your love is of the spirit or of the world?
